it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize