I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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