i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
