Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
