I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
