May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
