Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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