I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
