oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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