Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
