Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
