I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize