She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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