I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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