Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
