thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
