STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
