xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
