Can Purell be used as lube?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
