Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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