If i come over, it means nothing
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
