bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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