I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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