Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
