I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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