You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
