it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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