i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
