So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
