Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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