Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
