areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
