i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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