after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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