Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
