We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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