i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
