apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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