Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
