Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
