Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
