i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
