Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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