I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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