let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
