there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
