Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
