He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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