Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
