Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its not stalking. its research.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
