Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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