can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
