The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
