i barfeds in our rink
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
