Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
