Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
