There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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