Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
