Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My penis needs a shock collar
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
