We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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