sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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