this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
